How Do I Know if My Ex Still Loves Me?

What are the signs that an ex boyfriend or girlfriend still has feelings for you?

Are they hidden? Easy to spot? And if you do see these signs, what should you do about them? How can you use them to win your ex back?

Know if Ex Loves Me

Knowing how your ex feels post-breakup isn't always easy. Chances are you lost contact; some or all of it. This alone makes it difficult to read someone.

On top of that, your ex boyfriend or girlfriend isn't going to outright tell you how they feel anymore. Their true emotions will be guarded. Secret. Kept only to themselves.

Chase them too hard, and your ex will cut you out of their life altogether. Keep pushing when your advances aren't welcomed, and they're never going to tell you a thing.

Sure, eventually you might get your ex to talk. But by then it might be too late. Your boyfriend or girlfriend may have moved on by then, or he or she may have become disinterested in you altogether.

Even worse, your ex could be dating someone else.

For these reasons, you need to know the full list of signs your ex might want you back. But let's take a few moments to go over the short list, and talk about the more obvious ones first:

Your Ex is Still Talking or Texting You After the Breakup

This happens when your boyfriend or girfriend isn't absolutely sure of their decision just yet. Rather than risk losing you for good, they keep some lines of communication open... even if that communication is extremely limited.

The bad news here is that your ex has all the control. THEY decide when to call you. THEY decide when to answer your texts. And the more you try to communicate? The more distant they become. Essentially, they're giving you just enough contact to keep stringing you along.

This also takes the guise of "let's still be friends". If your ex offered you that dangling carrot, then you're really in trouble.

But the good news? The lines of communication ARE still open. Your ex isn't totally ignoring you, which could mean a lot of really bad things. If that was the case, your ex could be interested in another person. Or he or she could already be seeing someone new.

The fact that they're still talking to you is good, but it's also bad. Talk to them too much, and you never give your ex the chance to miss you. This is a 100% essential part of the reconciliation process (and no, you can't skip it).

You need to learn this opening move if your ex is still calling or texting you after breaking up. It's a great way to take back some of that control we talked about earlier, and shift the balance of power in YOUR favor.

Your Ex Makes Sure You Know he or she is Still Single

Has your ex gone out of her way to be visible to you? Has he intentionally shown himself to be single, and wants you to know it?

If so, it's a good sign they might want you back. Many ex boyfriends and girlfriends who break things off plan to do so only temporarily. In that case, your ex will make absolutely sure you KNOW they're not dating anybody else... so that YOU don't date anyone yourself. In short, they're hedging their bets. Being utterly transparent, for the sake of their own interests.

Your Ex Drunk Dials You or Calls During a Time of Weakness

A breakup is like a castle wall - you have to get through it before you can win the prize of reconciliation. So while you're trying to win back that person you still love so much? It's always prudent to look for weaknesses in their defenses.

Ex Drunk Dials You

In this case, the chink in your ex's armor will be calling or texting you late at night, when they're lonely and more prone to thinking about you. Loneliness leads to nostalgia. Nostalgia leads to fond memories of being back in your arms again.

Drinking also reduces your ex's inhibitions by a factor of 10 or more. What they won't say while sober, but still might be thinking? That sort of stuff will come out when your ex is drunk, alone, and yes, thinking about you again.

Drunk dialing or calling to talk while tired and weak are both good signs that there's still interest. Your ex may not be ready for a full-blown romance again, but getting back together is right around the corner if you know how to play the cards right when this type of contact comes.

Your Ex Starts Hanging Out With Your Friends

Another tactic to regain your interest will be when your former boy or girlfriend starts showing up in the same old social circles you used to inhabit while together as a couple.

Your ex might bring some friends for support, to make things seem more legit. Just be careful, because an ex will also use friends as spies. Yours, his, hers... doesn't matter who's friends they are - if they can use those people to see what you've been up to (and who you've been with), it's usually a sign of interest.

Your Ex Says "Hey, Let's Hang Out as Friends"

Nothing's ever as it really seems with this one. Because an ex who really wants nothing further to do with you will ALWAYS distance themselves from you. An ex who has moved on or is seeing someone else? That person will never suggest hanging out as friends.

Odds are pretty good that if you want your ex back, you've been trying to get them for some time. This means they KNOW you want them. In which case, hanging out with you will only give off mixed signals and provide you with false hope... unless that hope really isn't false.

Now it's entirely possible your ex is using the "let's be friends" excuse to keep you close for a number of reasons OTHER than getting back together. Some of them include:

  • Keeping Tabs on You - knowing you're not going anywhere makes the breakup comfortable for them, because your ex can reverse it at any time.
  • Sleeping With You - using you purely for sex is something an ex boyfriend or girlfriend might easily do. Especially if you have a long, comfortable sexual history together.
  • Letting you go Slowly - breakups are hard on both people. Your ex might not be 100% used to the idea of not having you around (yet) and would like stay "friends" as a long, less-painful way of letting go slowly. Very selfish, but something people often do.
  • Needing You Financially - if you lived with your ex, or they relied on you for some portion of their lifestyle, they might keep friendly with you purely out of financial reasons. Remember: you want someone who needs YOU, not your money. Keep that in mind when you consider saving any relationship.

Other Signs Your Ex Still Loves You

When it comes to knowing how someone really feels about you, the best things to look at require contact. What's their voice like when they talk to you? Are they eager or disappointed? And if you see your ex (because you work or go to school with them), what kind of body language do you read? Is your ex stiff and cold toward you now, totally indifferent, or are they showing signs of warming up or actually flirting with you again?

And what if you HAVE no contact with your ex? How are you supposed to know how they still feel about you then?

Well luckily there are ways around that.

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